I know a lot of cyclists lust after bikes, but this story — from tonight’s thelondonpaper — about a Scotsman, is simply ridiculous:
A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle was given three years’ probation and placed on the Sex Offenders Register. Robert Stewart, 51, was convicted of sexually aggravated breach of the peace after cleaners at his hostel in Ayr found him half naked and simulating sex with the bike. Sheriff Colin Miller told him: "I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind but… I have never heard of a ‘cycle-sexualist’." Stewart had blamed a misunderstanding caused by drink.
Which begs the question, how many pints would you need to have consumed before thinking it might be a good idea to shag your bike?