Notes to the idiots

Today’s commute was fast and quick. But the idiot count was very high.

(If you’d prefer not to read the following rants, I suggest you go make yourself a cup of tea — or simply click your mouse!)

To the girl who decided to undertake me this evening, then rode up onto the footpath and then back onto the road without giving way to me, thanks so much! There was a reason why I was sat behind a bus at a safe distance while we were at the traffic lights. That you ignored that because you couldn’t be bothered sitting behind me for two seconds speaks volumes about your inability to think ahead and read the road. If you were in a car you would have killed me. But because you were on a bike and I could almost pre-guess what you were going to do I was able to prevent an accident happening. I hope my shouting at you and calling you a f**kwit got the message across. Next time have some consideration for your fellow cyclists! And learn the road rules!

To the woman in the brown quilted jacket, knee-length brown skirt and court shoes, traffic lights are there for a reason. Tonight I saw you come within inches of being knocked off your bike by a car because you foolishly ignored the lights while going around a blind corner. A mile-and-a-half up the road I saw you cross Hyde Park Corner while the lights were still red and, once again, you almost got hit by a car coming around the bend. To avoid getting hit, you then went the wrong way up the road, scattering a bunch of cyclists who were patiently sat at the lights abiding the law.

If that wasn’t enough, when I finally passed you going up the South Carriage, I was hoping that was the last I’d see of you. But no. I was scooting down Kensington High Street (which was particularly hairy tonight because of the unusually high number of red buses on the road) you chose to put yourself in further danger by overtaking a bus which had right of way. I swear I closed my eyes, because I couldn’t bear to see you being splattered across the road. I’m convinced you are not long for this world, particularly if you keep riding your bike as if the world revolves around you!

There. I feel much better now I have that out of my system!

Today’s roundtrip total distance: 12.56 miles | Ride time: 70min and 37sec | Average speed: 11.11mph | Top speed: 19.1mph


6 thoughts on “Notes to the idiots

  1. So I’m not the only one whose exasperation turns to terror as I watch an inconsiderate cyclist who was only an annoyance to me almost turn into a nasty statistic further along on their journey.
    I only hope they behave this way because of inexperience and not arrogance as everybody’s luck runs out sometime.


  2. Wow, what a daredevil brown skirt woman must be! It sounds like your prediction for her short future is about right…
    It stinks when the actions of fools like that impact on those of us who take care–responsible cyclists and cautious motorists alike.


  3. Good post. I’ve been meaning to rant like this for a while but by the time I get home I’m too tired to care. Before I started biking to work I tried to look for stats on bicycle fatalities to figure out how safe it would be. Each day I would read the stats then when I drove home I would see idiots riding their bikes the wrong way down the street and cut across intersection without pause. I determined that the statistics for cyclist include everyone, not just the extra-cautious-everyone-is-out-to-kill-me-and-I-ride-like-Im-invisible cyclists.
    Every night I pass a homeless guy who rides the wrong way down the street (while taking a lane) with 10 bags of cans on a BMX bike that is too small. I wonder how he stays alive. I figure if he can make it then there is hope for me.


  4. Yep – I get really frustrated when I see other cyclists behaving like such loons. I’m not saying this from the position of a saint – I do like to ride fast & hard in traffic (to make the point – “you’re stuck inside that tin box, and I’m having all this fun & getting home before you”) . . . but as you say, there’s a reason the lights are red – it’s to stop you getting smeared over the road by the traffic that now has right of way!
    A note to Chris Cowan – from the accident reports I’ve seen posted on various blogs & in the papers, the cycling accident stats are mostly the result of natural selection. People who ride like complete eejits are more likely to get splattered & converted to a footnote in evolution than those who stick to the rules, dress like day-glo escapees from the reactor core, and ride with appropriate levels of assertiveness & caution. I hope you’re in the latter group! 😉


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